to the one who is hurting: it is okay

arise, shine

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!” (Psalm 27:13-14)

Dear one — I see you. I see you hurting and I want to tell you: it is okay. I know this is hard, when you are used to being the one standing when others crumble down. When you are used to being the shoulder to lean on, the hand extending to help others up — and now you realize that your knees are buckling under the weight of these circumstances, the ache in your soul and your wounded heart. It hurts, and the shame of not being able to take this — it can be even worse.

So many times I have wondered — how to tell you of my heart that is hurting with you. How to receive you so that you can come without having to build walls between us anymore. How to tell you that I want to walk with you through this, that there are no words of judgment or condemnation for you but only these: It is okay to hurt. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that. You are not alone.

“Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.” (Isaiah 46:4)

I know you carry scars from the battles you have fought, whether in your soul or on your skin. Yeah, I carry those both. How you see your scars, though, is what matters. Maybe you are hiding them in your shame, sure that no one can love you if they see your scars, how they make you ugly. Maybe you present them as signs of victories won, these battle scars that declare you victorious and strong. This I know for sure, though — those scars hurt at some point. Most likely, they still carry a memory of hurt with them. And that’s okay.

Those scars, they tell of a time that the Lord carried you through. They tell of a time that completely broke you apart — and the Lord carried you through. This is where the beautiful hope from reading the Scripture comes in, when we remember that God never changes. He carried you through then, He carries you through now.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

Now this pain, this hurt — it comes with these chains that bind hard around your heart, that steal the breath from your soul and it just makes me want to cry, because your heart is bleeding pain right there and I know. I wish I could tell you about the purpose, the meaning of your pain but the only thing I can tell you is: it is okay to be hurting.

But know also that there is One who can take your pain and heal your heart, who can turn your darkness into light. So do not give up.

Rather, give your pain to your Almighty God — to Him who is God With Us, hurting with you right there. Cry out to Him because He knows. He is right here, ready to bind those wounds gaping open, to take the pieces of that broken heart of yours and make them into something beautiful and new. Because this I truly believe — it will all be beautiful in the end.

Linking up: Monday’s Musings, Titus 2 Tuesday, WholeHearted Wednesday, Wednesday’s Prayer GirlsCoffee for Your Heart, Winsome Wednesday, Word Filled Wednesday, Coffee and Conversation, Works for Me Wednesday, Everyday Jesus, Grace at Home, Thriving Thursday, Essential Fridays, Faith Filled Friday


14 thoughts on “to the one who is hurting: it is okay

  1. Walter Kahler

    Thanks for sharing this and bringing God’s compassion as the healer of pain and suffering. This only comes true when we allow humility to radiate out to God.


  2. karrileea

    Ronja, this is beautiful! It reminded me of hearing someone talk years ago and he said, “The only man made things in heaven are the nail-scarred hands of Jesus.” We are neighbors over at Holley’s today and I love the name of your blog… (mine is “Abiding Love, Abounding Grace.” :)


    1. Ronja

      Thank you so much, Karrilee! That is such a powerful but also beautiful image, to think that really the only things made by man in heaven are the scars on His hands. What an amazing love that is!


    1. Ronja

      Thank you, Sarah! That is how I’m trying to see scars now — as reminders of God’s faithfulness and grace. As something that remind me of this hope that we in Christ.


  3. Thank you for your beautiful words. So many of us need to hear these kind of words. Scars, even healed over, sometimes leave you feeling disfigured and changed – and yet, even in that I am seeing that God takes the ashes of our life and turns them into beauty. Blessings to you. ~Victoria @


    1. Ronja

      Thank you so much, Victoria! :) The Lord really does give beauty for ashes, in building our character even in the hardest of times — although with these kind of things, it usually does take time for us to see what He has done in us. But that’s what scars can show us, I think. Just as they once were wounds, over time they turned into scars and something has now changed. So it is with the trials in our lives; we heal over time but we are also bound to change — in a good way, though, when we give it all to the Lord.


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