words for those who have lost someone

from summer into fall

I know, beloved — you never thought it would hurt this much to see someone walk away; that the sight of someone turning away could pierce your soul so deep, break into pieces this hope you carried within your heart. How tracking a trail of steps could make your heart weigh heavier than stone, this world a burden on your shoulders and weak knees.

I know, beloved — how you never knew it could be this hard to keep going; to know where to place that dull ache that grips your soul, how to speak words that carry light rather than the grief washing over in waves. That losing someone could so break your heart and most of all, leave you without any idea of how to put that heart back together. How seeing your grip on someone sliding would make you feel like you have now lost all there is.

Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm. (Joel 2:12-13)

But remember this, my friend. When the grief takes over. When the hurt pierces hard and deep. When you are at the end of your rope and that knot is slipping from your trembling hands, and now, all is gone — there, remember, my friend. That in those moments when comes the pictures of a back turned to you, of those steps away? When the indescribable sorrow comes in waves and steals your thoughts?

You are not alone.

Just maybe we do forget it time to time, though the words slip easily from our mouths every day and yet — sometimes we forget. That He truly is our Father in heaven, our Father who gave up His own Son to save our wretched soul. He is our Father, who watched His Son hang on the cross, carrying our sin and shame, forsaken, just so that He could be with us.

But most of all, He is our Father who watches His children walk away every single day — and certainly He knows this heartbreak better than we do. Because it is only Love incomprehensible that sees the wickedness in our hearts and calls for us, wanting to wash us clean time and time again. It is only Love incomprehensible that forgives time and time again, as we walk away knowing full well we are doing it. It is only Love incomprehensible that has His heart broken over His children every moment, and yet suffers long that we might repent and return.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.” (Hebrews 11:1,3)

He knows, beloved. He knows just how many raw wounds this has left behind, losing someone so dear and so close. He knows just how much they hurt, these wounds bleeding and gaping open. He knows what it feels like to start the process of healing, only to be broken and crushed once again. He knows, and He carries it all in His hands. You are not alone.

Linking up: Titus 2 TuesdayTell It To Me TuesdaysCoffee For Your HeartWord Filled WednesdayWholeHearted WednesdayCoffee and ConversationWorks For Me WednesdayFrom House to HomeShine Blog HopGrace at HomeEveryday JesusGrace & TruthFaith Filled FridayDance With Jesus

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12 thoughts on “words for those who have lost someone

  1. Emilee

    I have found your posts to be so, so encouraging. This one in particular is very timely, as today marks one year since I lost my grandmother. Thank you. The Lord is using you.

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    1. Thank you so much for these kind words and for sharing this with me, Emilee! I’m so glad to hear that the Lord is using this post to comfort you. Blessings to you!

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  2. lindseytradup

    Thank you for this post. It has been one month and one day since my I found my mom had passed away alone at her home. I have to be honest and admit that I wasn’t raised very religious, but I’m needing the healing powers of prayer more than ever. Your words are encouraging, keep doing what you do.

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    1. Lindsey, I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, willing to be so honest. I will keep you in my prayers — that you’ll find healing for your heart eventually and that you’ll find Jesus in the midst of your grief. God bless you!

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  3. That’s excellent. It’s so hard to know what to say… but just “You are not alone” is a fantastic response that doesn’t try to fix it or minimize the hurt. Thanks. I’m going to remember that one.

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    1. Joanne, I’m right there with you! What a comfort it is that He will carry us through it all, no matter how we are feeling. We get to be weak with Him, we get to grieve with Him, we get to be broken with Him — and He will carry us through, every single time. He remains faithful. Thank you for visiting here, Joanne! Blessings!

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  4. Lori Schumaker of Seaching for Moments

    Ronja,
    A very beautiful comfort to those who do not know how they will even take the next step. This was my first visit to your blog. I was blessed! I am so glad we were neighbors at #FaithFilledFriday!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

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