My friend, it has been a long time since I have been in this space. I come here, with a full heart and a soul that is like a canvas painted over with many glorious, brilliant colors. Since the last time, I have traveled thousands of miles, made many new friends and built those already formed, had my heart stretched and broken to make it into something more beautiful by our Creator, found gifts I did not know I had in me, failed and made many mistakes only to be set on the right course again, fallen in love, been pushed outside my comfort zone, had God’s love woven into my soul, been challenged and molded and convicted. I have grown.
“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15)
I look back to the last four months, knowing with certainty that my heart is not the same as it was before — and that this is a good thing. The future is unknown; the past holds the story of glorious grace and love that breaks through fears and holds together what is thought to be lost. This present moment a path never walked before, surrounded by mountains and trying to see where the road leads and whether it will get straighter, smoother, easier anytime in the future.
There are new words stirring up in my soul. There is new love being woven into my heart. This is a new season of life, one that I do not know how to prepare for, the fears coming in waves some days and yet — there is a hope glimmering in the beams of light, love being woven into a story and grace filling in for the gaps. This is a new season, an opportunity given that is purely laden with mercy. And through the hardships and hurts, there is beauty unfolding and a brilliant lightness has come to take over the dark.
“So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.” (Psalm 63:2-5)